Shakalaka Boom Boom

Awful.   Boring.   Repetitious.   Everyone looks bad.  

Bobby Deol’s a musician who’s driven to extremes by his jealousy for Upen Patel (who acts mainly with his shoulders).   Kangana Ranaut and Celina Jaitley are the interchangeable bimbettes.  

I was left with so many questions.

Why does Celina wear so much eyeliner that she looks like this:

Why is Bobby Deol, a top pop musician, hanging around with two “pillars”, as he calls them, who have a shared age between them of at least 110?   Isn’t the pop music biz supposed to be all about hip-n-happening young people?

Why does Bobby’s Guru-ji just stand there, comatose, with his mouth hanging open?   If Bobby respects him so much, surely the man must utter some words of wisdom now and then?

Why does Upen Patel have this dorky Son of Frankenstein side-part hair-dodon’t:

See it or skip it?

Run as far as you can in the opposite direction.

I usually find something to like in most Hindi movies, but, aside from the one song picturization with Upen Patel shirtless in the desert, that was vaguely reminiscent of a Calvin Klein underwear ad, even I couldn’t find anything that saved this bomb.   (Ah, now I understand the title….)

Comments

  1. 11

    UPEN PATEL no.1 FAN says

    omgg..yuu lotzz r dikedzz..swear downn..i wuved de movie..aprtt frm de fact tht mrr.oldie woz in it > BOBBY DEOL..herez a message 4 yuu..GET A LIFE YOU OLD MAN..YOU CNT ACT..DANCE N YOU TOTALLY CANT GET GYALZZ..as 4 yooh mii sxc upen..your fit!!..mii sxc patell..you should kill bobby deol..but then agen..why should you waste you precious time with him..and get your hands dirty..It’ll be my pleasure to kill him for you..and as for you peepz..DONT GO CUSSING GOOD MOVIEZZ LYK SLBB..CZ I DNT C YOU GETTING OUT THERE AND WORKING OYUR ASSES OFF TO MAKE SUCHA GD MOVIE!!..

  2. 12

    says

    Joseph, thanks for sharing more details about the film. I just couldn’t muster the energy to write more than I did. I agree, it’s a pity Bobby didn’t look his best in this one. I thought he was so pleasant in Kareeb years ago.

    Now to the important matter, your shirtless question. On the one hand, I’m with Beth. I’m really perversely happy that men are now being subjected to the same insecurity-inducing expectations, though they’ve yet to reach the unrealistic heights (or lows, really) of what women are held up to. That said, I really don’t need to see Salman sans chemise ever again (beside, there’s a fantastic montage at Bollywood Fugly!), or Saif, and I’m not into this waxed look that seems to now be pervasive among pretty filmi boys, it’s just too unnatural for me. All that said, hey, there are actors I wish we would see with their pecs to the air, like KayKay Menon, Nana Patekar, even the Big B. I’d like to seem them, say, in a scene getting dressed in the a.m., at a pool, whatever.

    Sanket, Babasko, good for you, for keeping away! (Er and Babasko, SUNNY Deol?????????) Okay……………..Chacun a son gout……

    Pooja, I wasn’t quite so fuggily impressed by the wardrobe as Joseph, but I must give the stills a dekko…. maybe I was so stunned by the baddness of it all that it wasn’t even registering!

    Dataman, thanks for sharing the link. (I like that blog, btw, but I never have enough time to read as much as I’d like.) I did a spit-take when I heard Anupama Chopra mention this fact on her show, and read an excerpt on the Ultrabrown blog. It is amazing, eh?

    Amit, I agree, I’ve yet to walk out of anything, as bad as it might be. I always want to see how it ends.

  3. 13

    says

    Hi , must say SLBB was one of the most excruciating experiences of mine in the theatre room. Even felt tempted to walk out of from there. Had to control myself with gr8 difficulty to remain in the theatre.

    Hey i have this Bollywood blog http://www.movietonic.com, could you add it to your elite blogroll list. Do let me know once you do it. Check out my blog, any criticisms and suggestions are welcome.

  4. 16

    says

    “Everyone’s costumes look like they’ve been sourced from a bargain basement sale at Pimps-For-Less.”

    HAHAHAHAHA.

    Flimi, you need to FUG this :).

  5. 17

    babasko says

    wow maria, you´re very brave. i ran very fast in the opposite direction right after i saw the first promo stills.
    but sometimes even those pics dont keep you away from stinkes like that, “big brother” the new SUNNY deol movie, will be screened here in vienna in a few weeks, and the masochist in me is actually thinking about going there…

  6. 18

    says

    I saw the trailer and photos and ran far far away right away! Poor Bobby Deol – he was so promising in his first movie ‘Barsaat’ and did an admirable job in the 2nd biopic of Bhagat Singh. I think he is starting to freak out (about not being popular anymore) and just taking any role that comes his way.

    Just goes to show – even fun mindless movies need to be seen with caution. There are just too many GOOD movies out there that I need to catch up on :)

  7. 19

    says

    Joseph, I for one do agree that they’re overdoing the shirtless thing. But the snarky part of me – which should be reined in, so forgive me – says “welcome to what straight women have been putting up with for…the history of the world.”

  8. 21

    Joseph Gonsalves says

    I saw this Movie yesterday and can honestly say that it was soooooo bad that I actually found myself guffawing with laughter at the unintentional comedy.Consider this exchange:

    After a passionate romp in the back seat of a car, the lifeless Celina Jaitley tells Upen, “Aaj toh tumne kamaal kar diya”(You were sooo amazing today) to which Upen replies with a Macho/mischevious smile, “I know”, to which Celina once again responds, this time coyly, “Main toh tumhaare club ke performance ki baat kar rahi thi”( Oh! I was talking about your performance at the club)

    There are innumerable reasons to abhor this film but mine were Bobby Deol and Upen Patel in that order—
    Bobby Deol hams it up as the insecure musician, and he looks so haggard, he resembles something they dug up in an archaeological excavation.

    As for Upen Patel the less said the better, he’s got one single expression and he uses it for all occasions – when he’s happy, when he’s sad, when he’s angry, when he’s just finished making out, and when he’s been told his father’s dead.

    In fact, Upen gives the word ‘stiffness’ a whole new meaning – you want to pinch him just to make sure he’s human and not a wax statue out of Madame Tussauds.

    Everyone’s costumes look like they’ve been sourced from a bargain basement sale at Pimps-For-Less. Maria you’re right about this being a terrible film.Actually that’s an understatement. However I disagree about one thing–I say go watch it! or at least seek it out on DVD—It’s sooooo wrong on so many levels that it’s actually entertaining!

    One last question Maria—-I understand that most of our Bollywood heroes nowadays are in great shape but don’t you think their overdoing the whole ‘Shirtless-Wonder’ bit? You(and most girls) probably love it as eye-candy, but as a not-so-fit straight man I can hosetly say that it’s extremely irritating:)

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